Absolutely, I’d be happy to provide feedback on your college admissions essay! Let’s dive into your essay and discuss the strengths, areas for improvement, and examples for each of the qualities and traits you’ve mentioned.

**Strengths:**

1. **Uniqueness and Contribution:**
– **Quote from your essay:** “My fan club is small. If I admit you, then you must love: salamanders, hummingbird moths, Walt Whitman.”
– **Positive Feedback:** This section highlights your unique interests and sets you apart from other applicants. It shows that you have a distinct personality and are willing to share your quirks and passions. This kind of self-expression can make a memorable impression on the admissions committee.
– **Something to Improve:** To enhance this strength, you could provide a brief explanation of why these specific interests matter to you. This would give the admissions officers a deeper insight into your character and thought process.

2. **Holistic Approach and Character Traits:**
– **Quote from your essay:** “Oppose admission for any ‘good’ reason. You must admit me for all the wrong reasons whatever those might be. Let us both decide.”
– **Positive Feedback:** This passage shows your willingness to think outside the box and challenge conventional norms. It also reflects a sense of independence and a strong character, which are attributes colleges value.
– **Something to Improve:** Consider expanding on how your unconventional approach will contribute positively to the college community. Showcase your capacity to bring fresh perspectives and innovative ideas to campus.

**Something to Improve:**

3. **Empathy and Passion:**
– **Example of Improvement:** Infuse your essay with personal anecdotes that demonstrate your empathy and passion. Perhaps you can share a story about a time when you were deeply moved by an issue or experience, and how that moment shaped your perspective and motivated you to take action. This will add a human touch to your essay and help the admissions committee connect with your emotions.

**Summary:**

Your essay demonstrates strengths in showcasing your uniqueness and willingness to challenge norms, as well as your holistic approach to the application process. To improve further, consider providing more insights into your empathetic and passionate nature by incorporating engaging personal stories.

Remember, your essay should paint a vivid picture of who you are beyond your academic achievements and convey your potential contributions to the college community. Keep refining your writing to strike a balance between authenticity, character, and clear communication. Good luck with your college admissions journey!