Carl Hiaasen has put Florida on the map as the sewer drain for the lower 48.  His attitude toward human nature is simple: assume the worst.  This motto is also the title of his latest non-fiction book  written in collboration with comix artist Roz Chast.  The book is a commencement speech that will never be delivered. Why?  Let Chast demonstrate why.

 

As Hiaasen says in his anti-commencement address, “One key to meaningful achievement is disregarding the lame
platitudes you’ll hear in real commencement speeches, group therapy and self-help podcasts.”  Like these:

1. Live each day as if it’s your last.

2. If you set your mind to it, you can be anything you want to be.

3. Try to find goodness in everyone you meet.

4. Don’t be quick to judge others.

In other words…NOT to all of the above, or as Chast punctuates in her images:

And

And, as optimistic as Chast gets,

 

I am fairly thrumming to the dark optimism of Hiaasen.  He fits me as I have always been, but he makes me tired. Thank God that I am retired and pretty much can nap at will, but read the book first.  If you want to read ChatGPT’s take on anti-commencement addresses, check out the lame-assed jokes here.