No,
it is not
what I expected
(whatever “it”
might be).
It is not even
what I hoped
it might be.
I hoped someone,
anyone
might care more.
I had hoped
my own opinion
would be
all that mattered.
No.
Attention must
be
spent.
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I often think of the Bible stories about “John, the Baptist” who preached about the coming Messiah for many years, to any who would listen.
He must have overcome many struggles about “lack of attention”.
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Thanks for “spending” some of your coin of attention. It seems childish at times to remind folks to attend to those who are boogying to send out a clear signal. Perhaps my content, my message, my sermon is not useful enough or smart enough. I will say this: every morning I rise up seeking, making sense of, and sharing. Hence, the title of my poem and post–I rise up singing and I am hoping the song, like a bird’s song, is enough, but finding it out it isn’t.
The operative phrase in your comment is “to any who would listen”. We live in the time of Neo-Babel where we are cursed as we allocate wide bands of attention to influencers and ever narrower frequencies to folks like us. Thanks again, Dan. You are part of the saving remnant.
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“I rise up singing and I am hoping the song, like a bird’s song, is enough …”
I know the rest of your sentence is the true meaning of what you wrote but I am holding on to the this first part, a sort of buoyancy here, fingers on the string of a balloon that may yet pop but still afloat. It’s these little moments that are most important to me, I guess is what I’m saying. Your words often give me lift. I hope the reverse is true, at times, too.
Kevin
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On reflection I am also surprised to feel how liberating it is to push the edges of one’s meager identity. It is good to know what those limits are. In my case I want to be seen, to be attended to. Yet…I often forget to reciprocate that attention. It’s called hypocrisy, another limit to who my best self might become.